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Friendship Through Adversity

Julie Dean
Guest post by Julie Dean, Adult Discipleship Ministry Coordinator

I have been asked countless times why I went to seminary for a counseling degree when I had no desire to become a counselor. While I am definitely an advocate of professional counseling, I don’t think we fully understand the power we hold to point our family and friends toward either life or death. As believers, we are all counseling each other with our attitudes, actions, and words.

For too long, as a Christian who rightly believed in the sovereignty of God and that he works all things for my good, I wrongly translated that to mean I should not experience any negative emotions. Life happened, and I was supposed to game-face it, suck it up, and move on.

When I was growing up, my dad would constantly remind my brothers and me of Proverbs 11:14: “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” This has deepened my desire to be a friend and have friends who are grounded in the Word, praying that it guides all we think, say, and do, as we walk through life together.

I am indebted to the wise family and friends the Lord has blessed me with who help me fight for joy each day. If you have ever driven up Lookout Mountain from Lookout Valley, you have seen the faithful Ruby Falls employee standing out front, no matter what crazy weather we are experiencing, pointing you to turn into the parking lot and see the beautiful waterfall. As Joe Novenson has helpfully pointed out, no one is driving up and down the mountain to see that employee. Ruby Falls is not about the employee, but his or her job is to point you to the main attraction.

Do you have people in your life who are doing this for you, shifting your gaze from yourself to look at Jesus? Even the guardrails on the mountain drive remind us of the need for the Word of God and other believers whom we should not view as barriers and roadblocks in our life, but rather as safeguards which keep us from the looming death and destruction that will come to us if left to our own devices.

I began to experience some health challenges in early 2012. I may never understand why the Lord allowed this in my life. However, I am thankful how the Heavenly Father has graciously chiseled his daughter’s heart to humble me and deepen my trust in him. This bittersweet sanctification has enriched my understanding of him and the importance of brothers and sisters in Christ.

For too long, as a Christian who rightly believed in the sovereignty of God and that he works all things for my good, I wrongly translated that to mean I should not experience any negative emotions. Life happened, and I was supposed to game-face it, suck it up, and move on. At the other extreme is our culture which tells us that we should embrace everything we feel, and follow our heart to do whatever we want and think is best for us.

The psalmist cries out in Psalm 13:1: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” and Jesus cries from the cross in Mark 15:34: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” By God’s grace, I am daily learning the tension between these honest cries, and Jeremiah 17:9 which says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

If I follow my heart, I am doomed to a life of lies; but if I honestly take my thoughts and feelings before the throne of God, I am admitting my need of his wisdom and power to help make sense of life. He alone can make it well with my soul, even when I do not like my circumstances. Often the Lord chooses to give us sustaining grace rather than delivering grace, deepening our dependence on him and his church, demonstrated in I Corinthians 12:24-26: “But God has put the body together…if one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”

No matter our circumstances, let’s be friends and family members who are petitioning for each other to be strengthened by his Spirit, growing in our comprehension of his love and the knowledge of him.

This article is adapted from Julie’s talk at the Covenant College Spirit of Friendship chapel which you can watch here: www.covenant.edu/calendar/all/2016/04/04.