This article is adapted from a talk given at the Lookout Mountain School 2018 5th grade graduation ceremony.
Self-control: that is the word I want you to remember. That word will be vital and key to your middle school journey, and really to all of your life ahead.
Webster’s dictionary defines self-control as “restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.” Rather than just leave you with a good definition, I want to leave you with two movie illustrations and two wise proverbs.
Two Movie Illustrations
Inside Out is an entertaining and insightful Pixar film that depicts the emotional life of a little girl named Riley. What we find is a hilarious and honest look at the emotional battle among joy, disgust, anger, sadness, and fear. Each of those emotions will be felt by you in these next years of middle school – that is normal and right. In the movie, you remember how fear protects Riley but also paralyzes her. Joy is positive, but not honest. Sadness is honest, but not hopeful.
Absent throughout the film is self-control. Riley has no control over her emotions. The emotions are at the control panel pushing the buttons and moving the levers. Riley is a helpless victim of her emotions without control, without power.
This film shows both the absence of self-control and the need for it. You cannot allow your emotions to push the buttons and move the levers. You are not a victim of your feelings, but rather a caretaker for them.
The Greatest Showman is a musical-drama inspired by the story of P.T. Barnum and the creation of the Barnum & Bailey Circus. As things unfold in the film, we see Barnum’s ambition grow, and soon he is discontent. He lets go of his values of loyalty, respect, honor and devotion in favor of wealth and public recognition. In his effort to pursue power, he loses everything.
The lesson from this movie is that when you are consumed with yourself rather than in control of yourself, it will never be enough. When you chase after yourself, it ultimately leaves you empty.
Two Wise Proverbs
Proverbs 16:32: “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”
An ancient warrior had the ability to conquer and master a whole city. That sounds appealing doesn’t it? Power that overtakes victoriously? But even better is the one who can conquer and master the self – better one with self-control than one who takes a city. It is harder to master yourself than to a master a whole country. You will need good friends, great teachers and coaches, loving parents, awesome siblings, faithful family, and amazing mentors to learn how to master and conquer yourself. Seek all of those – you can’t do it alone!
Proverbs 25:28: “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”
In ancient times, a city without a wall left its citizens open to attacks by bands of robbers, other armies, and rabid animals. Living without self-control will leave you just as endangered. Self-control is the wall around your city of self. There is no better time than middle school to seek and cultivate it so that you are safe and secure in yourself.
A lack of self-control is a life-threatening concern for each of you. To live without self-control at school, in sports, on social media, in friendships, or in your growth and development can be devastating to you and others. So seek it, work on it, chase it, ask the people in your life who are older than you about it.
You are an amazing group of kids. With self-control, you can bring great good to your friends, families, schools, and our world.